trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
