He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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