I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
