Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
