I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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