I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
