Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
