It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
