I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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