party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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