I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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