Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
