on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
