She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i used baking grease as lip gloss
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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