Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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