Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
