I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
