i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
