Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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