My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
