i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
