if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize