Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
