Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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