I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
