she woke up with a sticky ear
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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