Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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