That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
