The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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