I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize