.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
