I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
