Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
