Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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