i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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