i was born a porn star she said
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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