some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Randomize
