I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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