i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
