Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
