guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Randomize
