i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
