Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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