so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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