We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
