He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize