It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
