I am in a vortex of obligation.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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