3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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