That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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