Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
