I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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