woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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