we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
