I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
