The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
