Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
