if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
