I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Randomize
