Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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