the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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