he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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