I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
