Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
