Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
