Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
