4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
