at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
