last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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