i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
