Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
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