roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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