Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
