She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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