do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
She told me I should be a condom model.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
