I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
