my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
