Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
