i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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