So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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