watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize