i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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