i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
